Settling and Breaking Old Habits

It's been about 4 weeks that I have been living in Canada. As most people know, it's not my first time here. I was here in 2006 as an exchange student at a language school.

At that time everything was just fine and relaxing. I had basically no responsibilities and no homework or any kind of serious assignments. All I had to do was wake up in the morning, take a shower, get dressed and head to school. And everyday after school my friends and I would always have something to do, like going to a park, to the beach, playing soccer somewhere, or just hanging out around the city.

Now I'm back in Canada after 6 years and I guess all that will eventually just stay in the past. The feeling of the city is still the same. you go downtown and all you can see is a very lively city and a lot of students just hanging and horsing around. The thing is, that is not my life anymore. I'm not here with that purpose anymore. I'm here as a graduate student and that is a big thing. I'm here to grow as a man and to grow as a linguist and a professional.

Finishing school everyday and having to go home as soon as it finishes is still strange. I still feel like I wanna go downtown and just horse around with my friends. But I now realize that that is just not my life anymore. Pretty soon I'm gonna start working and all the responsibilities I had 2 months ago will be back at me. I'll wish I can get home right after class to prepare for work. Well, I guess that's what I'll have to face and internalize. 

Diversity

One of the things that I could never experience in my hometown, Natal, would be diversity. I mean, Brazil is pretty much a diverse country, but it's a different type of diversity. It's something related to just being different people with the same culture and pretty much the same actions.

Vancouver is such a culturally diverse city in terms of both different kinds of people and different kinds of cultures. And some people would think that makes the city lose its own identity as a canadian city. But actually, that is the identity of Vancouver. What I like most about it is the fact that it doesn't matter where you come from, they'll still have a place for you here.

The city has an amazing ability of adapting itself to all these different people and cultures that live here. It seems like it is the same relationship that happens in nature. There are different kinds of plants and animals, but that does not seem to be a problem. They can just live together without any problems.

I'm not that naive to think that Vancouver is a perfect place. I would never say that. No place in the world is perfect. Anywhere you go there are problems, there's poverty, there's dishonesty, there's drugs, there's just anything. But the fact that the city can have all that and still be an awesome city really makes people feel comfortable the way things work here.

The Roller Coaster Ride

Of course, whenever you try something new, it feels like you're on a roller coaster. There are lots of ups and downs and lots of good and bad moments. When I say bad, I don't really mean bad, I just mean not very pleasant. New things normally aren't supposed to bring bad situations.

This ride is what has been happening to me over the last week here. I know that it's only the first week, but my anxiety speaks louder than everything else and I still feel like there's something missing. I have classes until 3 in the afternoon and then that's it. I just go home. If there are assignments, I will do them, study a bit and then I've got nothing else to do. If feels like there's an empty space that needs to be filled.

Maybe I still have a lot to get used to and I feel this way because I'm still not at my 'own' place, but anyway, it feels strange. Not having company or not having someone to talk to during the rest of the afternoon and night feels strange. 

However, this situation is also changing a lot. Today at class we had a very meaningful discussion about teaching, and it made me very happy. I finally feel like things will be great.  Also, there were presentations of portfolios we made to show who we are and how we teach and so on. So, it felt very good to share stories and to get to know more people.